Top Grandma’s Boy Quotes
I think of my Grandma and remember that old feeling of being so in love that nothing matters except seeing and being seen by her. I drop the gun to my chest. I’m so sad and I can’t really see a way out of what I’m feeling but I’m leaning on memory for help. Faster. Slower. I think I want to hurt myself more than I’m already hurting. I’m not the smartest boy in the world by a long shot, but even in my funk I know that easy remedies like eating your way out of sad, or fucking your way out of sad, or lying your way out of sad, or slanging your way out of sad, or robbing your way out of sad, or gambling your way out of sad, or shooting your way out of sad, are just slower, more acceptable ways for desperate folks, and especially paroled black boys in our country, to kill ourselves and others close to us in America. — Kiese Laymon
so she’d take scraps of cloth and sew them together. there’d be different colors and different patterns and different types of cloth
but they all went together to make that big quilt to keep us warm. — Jesse Jackson
how war promises a boy it can make a man out of him. — Richard Peck
Conor’s grandma pinched Conor’s cheeks so hard he swore she was going to draw blood.
“He’s been very good, Ma,” Conor’s mother said, winking at him from behind his grandma, her favorite blue scarf tied around her head. “So there’s no need to inflict quite so much pain. — Patrick Ness
Your lovely smile that warms my heart
Your infectious laughter that brings me joy
I fell in love in with your charming character
Grandma’s little boy
May God protect you in every aspect of your life
May He give you wisdom in everything you do
May He bless you and keep you
All the days of your life. — Euginia Herlihy
“My grandma knits.”
I ignored him.
“So what are you making, Grandma?” Mohawk’s voice was ugly.
I arched my eyebrow. “A cashmere cock ring. Your grandma ever knit one of those?”
The kid’s eyes grew wide, and he suddenly became very interested in a four-year-old issue of Teen Vogue. — Leslie Langtry
Wesson revolver. The boy snatched his hand back as if it were burnt and scowled at the man in the red suit. “You’re not Santa Claus; you’re Daddy.”
Charley called across the room, “He’s one of Santa’s helpers!”
Jesse sat low in the chair with his boots kicked out, drew off the soft red cap by its cotton ball, then reached out and snuggled Tim close to his chest. He said, “Let me tell you a secret, son: there’s always a mean old wolf in Grandma’s bed, and a worm inside the apple. There’s always a daddy inside the Santa suit. It’s a world of trickery. — Ron Hansen
Grandma’s Boy Quotes
- Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don’t know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You’re getting a lion?
Dante: To protect my shit.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that’s true.
- Dante: I’ll smoke it with ya bro, we’ll go to the loony bin together. I don’t give a fuck.
- Alex: Dude, your bed is a car…
Jeff: Yeah, but it’s a fucking sweet car.
- Grandma Lilly: [after drinking pot tea] I can hear my… hair growing. You want some soup?
- J.P.: All I’ve ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don’t know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I’m thinking about getting metal legs. It’s a risky operation, but it’ll be worth it.
- Alex: Don’t judge me Monkey.
- Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got through with him.
- Alex: My grandma drank all my pot.
Jeff: That’s awesome.
Jeff: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?
- J.P.: Adios, turd nuggets.
- Jeff: I can’t believe you came on my mom!
- J.P.: Are you afraid of it?
Kane: No I just don’t like techno.
J.P.: You would if you had robot ears.
- Jeff: Do you have bathrooms here, or do I have to shit in a plant?
Shiloh: BAHAHAHA! Stupid FUCKING idiot! Red-shirted ASS! You guys think you’re so fucking cool, it makes me sick! “Oh, let’s go make fun of the vegans, and their crazy lifestyle!” We’re not hurting anyone! Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!
- Mr. Cheezle: I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was a dove flying over the sea. And then I dove into the ocean… And I swam with the dolphins. I was two animals joined as one… which meant – good things are coming. Good things.
- J.P.: [Upon leaning against a black wall in a black jacket]
J.P.: How could he see me?
- DDR Machine: [Jeff has just won a DDR Challenge] A NEW HIGH SCORE!
Jeff: [to Bobby, the defeated co-worker] What does “high score” mean? New high score, is that bad? What does that mean? Did I break it?
- Alex: Oh, yes! Finally a roommate who goes shopping. Chicken cutlet, spaghetti with garlic bread, oh, my God, the wings to go with the breast, I don’t know what you are but I’m gonna fucking eat you too.
Alex: Of course she doesn’t have a microwave she’s fucking a hundred.
- Jeff: Yeah, my roomates were talking about getting me a CB so I could talk to other car beds.
- Jeff: Crap that’s Alex’s intercom.
[answers Alex’s intercom and impersonates him]
Receptionist: Delivery at the front desk for you, Alex.
Jeff: Cool! I hope it’s a naked dude with a boner!
- Dante: Whoa, chill bro… You know you can’t raise your voice like that when the lion’s here.
- J.P.: [Robot Voice to Alex walking away] I hate your face.
Alex: [pauses, turns around] Did you say something?
J.P.: [Hides behind coat]
Alex: You’re fuckin’ weird.
J.P.: …How did he see me?
- Dante: That is pure fucking insanity.
Alex: Yeah, I know. He got addicted to hookers.
Dante: No, I’m talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong, kid. Ever.
- Dante: [while stoned] Drive, monkey, drive!
- Jeff: [imitating J.P] My name is J.P. I am a robot. I have a robot vagina.
- Grandma Lilly: I hate violence, but drugs ARE bad.
- Jeff: So Barry sucked on his first boobie last night.
Barry: [Gleaming with pride] For 13 hours.
- Alex: You remember Lara?
Jeff: Yes I do, and she already has a cold sore. What a surprise.
- Dante: [Answering the phone stoned] Hello?
Jeff: Dante is Alex there?
Dante: [hands the phone to Alex] The phone’s for you. I think it’s the Devil.