Best Regular Show Quotes

Mordecai: I cant believe I listened to you! I knew shouldve gone out to do some work, but no — lets wrestle this stupid doll, itll be fun.

— Regular Show work

Mordecai: Well, yeah, but now theres a big hole in the wall! Dude, were 23-years-old. We shouldnt be bustin holes in walls, were gonna get FIRED for this!

— Regular Show fire

Mordecai: I dunno, man. Ugh, we cant fix it and we definitely cant pay for it, cos we dont have any money. Unless you had some money.

— Regular Show money

Mordecai: Exactly. Which leaves us with only one possible solution. We convince Benson to give us raises so we can afford to pay someone else to fix it.

— Regular Show wit

Rigby: No, no, no! Thats not gonna work! Whatre ya, 65?! Excuse me, sir, can I have a raise? CMON!! Im tellin ya, dude! Hamboning~!!

— Regular Show work

Benson: Nope. You sent him to the moon, so the least you could do is give him your keyboard. Right, Skips?

— Regular Show you

Rigby: I dont wanna be player two! He just digs with the sucky pickaxe. I want the one with the shovel.

— Regular Show wit

Muscle Man: Is that One-Cheek Wonder? I hope hes not trying to play punchies will cheeks like those!

— Regular Show hope

Benson: Heres the key to the cake and the snack bar. I guess Ill see you at 8. But if you morons are LYING to me, YOULL BE ON DISH DUTY FOR THE NEXT MONTH!!! ➡

— Regular Show you

Rigby: Dont worry. Ill take care of this with my specialty. This isnt your sandwich. This is our sandwich.

— Regular Show you

Benson: NO, HE DIDNT BUY IT!! NOW GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTTS AND GO GET ME ANOTHER GRILLED CHEESE DELUXE!!!

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: I have to tell you the truthI have a condition that makes me forget everything in times of extreme stress. But

— Regular Show truth

Benson: I cant believe you idiots let those unicorns in here. You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up or youll wish it was YOU DRIVING THAT CAR!!

— Regular Show believe

Benson: Okay, we only have til three to stop the audit. Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody? Anybody at all?

— Regular Show body

Mordecai: It means that the next time we get to pick our job for the day, I get to pick. Why did you pick the snack bar?! This is like the worst job at the park, dude!

— Regular Show time

Skips: Well, it looks like its not that big of a dealif he doesnt mind being a bodiless consciousness for the rest of his life.

— Regular Show life

Mordecai: Yeah. And I guess were supposed to work here for the next six months just to pay for it all.

— Regular Show work

Mordecai: Yes, I wanna be in a band with you! All right, but we gotta have a cool band name. What do think of, Cool Dudes?

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: No, dudenot another horror movie! Last time, I had to walk you to the bathroom every night for a week!

— Regular Show time

Mordecai: Ah, all right, dude, were just gonna desensitize you the horror. Were gonna watch Ello Govnor over and over again, until you stop being scared.

— Regular Show horror

Rigby: What?! Why? Thats just some stupid chick-flick! And not even the good kind. I saw the preview. Theyre just gonna sit around talking about their feelingsfully clothed

— Regular Show feelings

Rigby: Looks like Pajama Sisters II is bombing! But its doing better than you did with Margaret. OOOOOHHHHH!!!

— Regular Show you

Rigby: Then I guess Im still going out with Margaret! OOOOOOHHHHH! YOU BLEW IT AGAIN, YOU BLEW IT AGAIN!

— Regular Show you

Father Time: Didnt mean to. Youve wasted my valuable time, your valuable time, and you really wasted the time of that guy you killed. Hes DEAD!

— Regular Show time

Mordecai: SHUT UP! This is all your fault! I finally get a chance to ask out Margaret, but you had to butt in and ruin everything!

— Regular Show you

Rigby: No, I didnt! I just wanted to see Zombie Dinner Party with my bro! Who flaked on me, for some girl who doesnt even know he exists! pushes Mordecai

— Regular Show art

Benson: And last but not least, two guys who really pulled it together this year. Two guys that remind us to not just work hard, but to work hard at having a good time. Two guys that we couldnt do without. And these two guys areMmmmmmmmmMuscle Man and High Five Ghost.

— Regular Show time

Mordecai: I dont know, manmaybe we shouldnt do this. What if we arent meant to see whats inside?

— Regular Show man

Benson: Ill take that! I dont know whats been going on here or why you two jokers have my book, so you had better clean this mess up starting now, OR YOURE BOTH FIRED!!

— Regular Show art

Peeps: Im here to stay. If you read the lifetime guarantee that you signed, Im going to watch you, 24/7, 365until you die.

— Regular Show life

Mordecai: Nothing. But the one thing you can trust us at is perfecting pointless skills on worktime.

— Regular Show time

Mr. Maellard: I KNOW WHAT YOUR NAME IS, BEANBAG!! So everything is ready for the unveiling of the new statue today, right, Beanbag?

— Regular Show you

Mr. Maellard: Good. Great. Theres only one thing missing — my son, Pops!! When I told him he had to give a speech today, he ran away, crying! I didnt invite all my friends and waste a lot of money for nothing. Right, Beenteen?

— Regular Show money

Pops: My father wants me to give a speech in front of all his friends today, but I cant. Because Im a no-good turkey and Im going to strawberry jam the whole thing up!!

— Regular Show friends

Muscle Man: I wasnt gonna say that!! Why does everyone always think Im going to say my mom?! I saw Pops earlier by the playground with those two losers.

— Regular Show man

Muscle Man: You know who else is gonna have to get supervised again for not doing it right? MY MOM!!! So long losers.

— Regular Show man

Mordecai: They have the combined intelligence of bread mould! Come on, Benson, give us one more chance!

— Regular Show intelligence

Benson: No more chances. Im sending you to the nursery to pick up another lemon tree. If you screw up again, Ill have Muscle Man and Hi-Five supervise the next job, then the next job, and the NEXT. GET IT?!

— Regular Show man

Muscle Man: Whos supervising this mission? Me, thats who! Now shut your word-hole, Im listening to my jam!

— Regular Show man

Muscle Man: Are you making fun of my mom!?? YOURE MAKING FUN OF MY MOM!! NO-ONE MAKES FUN OF MY MOM!!!

— Regular Show man

Muscle Man: High Fives is on it. He knows how to hot wire the cart to make it go crazy-fast! You know who taught High Fives to hot wire the cart to get away with slacking off at work and not get in trouble with his boss? My Uncle John. Hes a mechanic.

— Regular Show art

Muscle Man: It was all a prank and you chumps fell for it!! And thats not even a picture of my mom! Its a picture of my butt cheek! I just squished it up to look like a womans face!

— Regular Show man

Benson: I thought about what you guys said earlier and so Ive come down to give you those checks you wanted.

— Regular Show thought

Muscle Man: Yeah, you can borrow it. So we can watch you LOSE!! Ahaha! WOOO!!! WOOHOO!!! This is gonna be hilari-uhh! CRUNCH!!

— Regular Show man

Announcer 1: Take your pick! Were practically GIVING them away! No wait, were LITERALLY giving them away!

— Regular Show you

Muscle Man: It takes more than expired soda to have a party. It takes guests with breasts, and mine dont count.

— Regular Show art

Partygoer: Hey, whats up, Mordi and Rigbone? You remember how your toilet, like, used to flush Also, like, how it used to not be on fire? Anyway, phone call for ya! Some angry dude named Benson.

— Regular Show art

Mordecai: Dude! Pops Mustaches Monthly! Benson told us to deliver it weeks ago! You have to give this to Pops.

— Regular Show live

Mr. Maellard: Snacks disappearing from the snack bar, holes in the walls — $500 worth of prank phone calls?! Its ridiculous! What are you doing to my park, Beenteen?

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: Look, youre bummed out about getting demoted, but if you give it a chance youll see its not that bad.

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: No its not, youre just in a bad mood. Look, you just need to take your mind off it for a while and have some fun.

— Regular Show mind

Benson: Ahah! This is so typical. You get bored so you just slack off instead of finishing your work.

— Regular Show work

Mordecai: Its not slacking, were just taking a break. And besides, its not like youre working that hard anyway.

— Regular Show work

Muscle Man: I smash it open with my war claw! Then, a bunch of ladies come out and theyre all, Ooh, Muscle Man! Quit pinching my butt with your war claw!

— Regular Show war

Rigby: Lets see. Pirate samurai have +2 constitution, -3 charisma, divide by number of geese Do we have a protractor?

— Regular Show

Seeing the Summertime Song as a a physical form, taking the form of a music tape with arms and legs with big, red sunglasses

— Regular Show time

Mordecai: Check out her cart. American cheese singles, a single serving of soup—and who buys one banana? And I dont see a ring on that finger. So whatre you waiting for? Go get her!

— Regular Show art

Mordecai: Look! I know how Muscle Man can be. Hes annoying, he smells, and he pretty much has no common decency for others, but hes still human. And he has feelings. We all do. Were just fragile beings looking for someone to share something with. To laugh with. To love.

— Regular Show love

Benson: Who you want to play Ultimate Frisbee in this? A guy could trip, skid, get severe turf rash and BAM!! Lawsuit. Now get to work.

— Regular Show work

Rigby: Wow, what a windbag! I thought he never shut up. I cant believe you guys thought Doug was me. You must feel like idiots, am I right? Uh right?

— Regular Show believe

Muscle Man: Yo, HFG! I found a video game system on the ground. Lets see what happens when we put it in the Microwave.

— Regular Show man

Mordecai and Rigby: singing obnoxiously Because we know everything about scary movies and you know nothing about scary movies! Well save the park with our knowledge of scary movies!!

— Regular Show knowledge

Mordecai: Listen up, Mystrious Mister R! Mad Man Mordo is going to take you down! And Iam not talkin downtown; Im talkin 6 ft underground!

— Regular Show man

Rigby: And thats why we dont have tickets for wrestling because all you can think about is Bensons crank.

— Regular Show you

Benson: Hey! Let me tell you guys something. This guy.. this guy right here is SO strong. He could take anyone of you OUT in arm-wrestling.

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: You know what IM up to!? I know what YOURE up to! Step one: working with you was a huge mistake and step two: get off this billboard, you smell like barf!

— Regular Show work

Benson: And if you dont stop goofing off and clean up this graffiti NOW, IM GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: In closing, your theories had failed to prove that youre smarter – for your brain is no bigger than a WALNUT. 

— Regular Show art

Rigby: Very funny Mordecai, but your paper is fundamentally flawed because your brain is made up of 99% CANINE BUTT CHEEKS.

— Regular Show funny

Mordecai: There is still one irrefutable truth. You dont have a high school diploma! So Im smarter than you! You IMBECILE!!

— Regular Show truth

Benson: Mordecai, Rigby, get downstairs right now and clean up the mess you made, or Im gonna fire.

— Regular Show fire

Pops: Oh. WellI no longer acquire its services. So Benson and I are taking it to the place where the big men may come upon it, and whisk it away to Magic Trash City!

— Regular Showmen

Pops: Oh, I adore Rock, Paper, Scissors! Although where I come from, we call it, Quartz, Parchment, Shears.

— Regular Show art

Benson: No you dont! Youre not getting that chair. But heres what you do get. You get to flip that cart back over, youre throwin that chair away, and then youre cleaning up this whole MESS!! Pops, youre comin with me. And you two idiots, if this isnt cleaned up when I get back, YOURE FIRED!!!

— Regular Show art

Carrey OKey: I can play that tape whenever i feel like it, and theres not a darn thing you can do about it! I dont want to see you punks back here again. Youre banned!

— Regular Show you

Benson: No, no! I dont wanna hear it! Hey, I dont know what was on that tape or why those guys were after it, but Im gonna get to the bottom of this. YOUVE RUINED KARAOKE NIGHT!!!

— Regular Show night

Rigby: You probably shouldnt go, Margaret. I bet your boyfriend wont like you going out on a camping trip with you dudes.

— Regular Show you

Muscle Man: Oh, snap. Hey, Mordecai, youre looking a little confused. Did you know that we only need one more point to win?

— Regular Show man

Benson: When are you guys going to get it through your heads? Nothing you say or do will ever make me admit youre cool!

— Regular Show you

Rigby: Youre wrong! Youre all like thatll never happen, and then well get all cool and youll be all like whoa and then well be all like in your face!

— Regular Show you

Mordecai: : Actually, we dont have anywhere to sleep, so we were hoping you would let us camp out here tonight.

— Regular Show sleep

Mordecai: Yknow what? Were sick of all your rules! No prank calls, no rock-paper-scissors, no punchies — no unicorns? What does that even mean?!

— Regular Show you

Benson: It doesnt work that way! If you cant agree to live by all the house rules, THEN YOU CANT LIVE IN THIS HOUSE!!!

— Regular Show work

Muscle Man: While I sympathize with your quest to live free of the mans rules, this guys still gotta put food on the table.

— Regular Show food

Big Trouble: Nah, I got yall fools this time, hit it! V-Tron turns on the radio Rapping You all better watch out, cause Big Troubles on the mic now, ill knock all o your lights out, with my verse, yall be cursed , blowing up like fireworks. powwwwwwwww!

— Regular Show time

Blitz Comet: Rapping Blitz Comet on the scene. You step to me and you gonna get creamed-corn! All up in your teeth, you reek, youre the opposite of chic, ya freak! Your rhymes are all antiques. Nobody wants em, they throw em all away. Right from the get go like your brain is on delay. Matter of fact, yo, you better get a check up. Go ask your doctor, why you be so ugly from the neck UP?

— Regular Show ya

Benson: Im not going to smell your fingers, Muscle Man. Just tell me the truth and Ill take your word for it.

— Regular Show truth

Benson: Won? I wouldve never gotten into this mess if you two werent just messing around. You two are fired! No more chances, just get outta here.

— Regular Show sin

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